THE SCIENCE OF LOVE
Here we have one of those greeting card holidays that I usually forget… genuinely forget… until I hear something mentioned or read about it somewhere. More important to me is my Brother’s birthday which happened four days ago, so I tend to think of that as the only important date I need to recall in February. But, I read something in the news a couple of weeks ago that was very interesting to me. The science of love. In fact, Rob Melnyk told me about this scientific analysis of love some time ago, so it was fun to read up and refresh that perspective for me recently.
So, since in most cases it will be roses and chocolate for the day, I will provide my own regurgitation of what I learned from this article to provide a different perspective on how many of us bipedal beings end up in love’s embrace tied by the gold or silver (or other) rings on the fourth finger of the left hand which is rumored to be tied to the heart via the heartstring… or artery.
I love science. I wish I was a more avid pursuer of its mysteries and revelations. How the components of the physical world interact is fascinating and we truly know so little. Perhaps the most difficult and misleadingly simple interaction to understand is that of human chemistry and pair bonding. So let me relay some of the points I recollect from this article with this scientific look at love:
Man sees woman. He thinks she is “hot.” Why; a special spark, perhaps a mysterious connection? Hardly. He may not realize it, but this man – who we’ll call Adam – is assessing the woman’s body mass index (BMI). Adam also finds her to be beautiful. Again, he’s not conscious of it, but beauty is a result of facial symmetry. Apparently the waist-to-hip ratio is very important as well, a 7 being ideal. Is attraction subjective? Well, for men, it’s based on BMI and facial features. For women it is based on BMI and cues about health and social status like income and education. Big mystery there. Attraction is a direct result of our evolution as human beings. Men look for clues about women’s fertility, health and youthfulness, traits that mean she’ll produce good babies. Women look for signs that their man will be virile, strong, healthy, and a good provider.
Men apparently fall in love faster than women. Wow!!! Another BIG surprise. It’s because they’re so visual. And have you ever noticed how one of your friends may start acting really strange when they’ve supposedly “fallen in love”; like they’re on drugs or something. THEY ARE! It’s called dopamine. Now I’m not going to go into the whole science angle here, some of it is really heavy with technical jargon, but it all comes down to chemical reactions in the brain triggered by… you know what??? What the hell, here’s a section straight from the article that pretty much describes a man’s brain on “love.” Enjoy:
“Group activation specific to the beloved under the two control conditions occurred in dopamine-rich areas associated with mammalian reward and motivation, namely the right ventral tegmental area and the right postero-dorsal body and medial caudate nucleus. Activation in the left ventral tegmental area was correlated with facial attractiveness scores. Activation in the right anteromedial caudate was correlated with questionnaire scores that quantified intensity of romantic passion. In the left insula-putamen-globus pallidus, activatioin correlated with trait affect intensity. The results suggest that romantic love uses subcortical reward and motivation systems…”
How do you like THAT? Some scientists think we become “addicted to love” and some even advise people to wait until the passion wears off before marrying. Some of these same scientists have seen patterns of divorce and separation peaking at about four years in all the cultures they have studied.
Now the article ended on a happy note… gave the reader that hopeful happy ending we all seem to crave so much in our “all is good” society of “immediate gratification,” so I will do no differently despite my agreement with said article on the ill nature of the manufactured romance that is “Valentines Day.”
Despite a potential wandering eye, the man cannot imagine living without his “woman.” And likewise, the woman looks at… well lets say Adam, and sees her man. So they have formed a bond which brings me to the concept of pair bonding. Something the Terminator in T3:The Rise of the Machines was ill equipped to understand… as am I sometimes.
Men and women sometimes, in the best of circumstances, form a bond. It has been said that our brains literally become rewired when we form pair bonds, so I’m assuming that that means that the criteria that we use to judge the value of a partner has changed. But what do I know. The use of the term rewired also indicates to me that we become different people. Maybe that is good in some cases.
In any case, I have been amused by the information in this little exercise in delving into the science of love, and hope you too have found it of some interest too. If not, and you are alone and lonely still seeking that “connection” that you are certain lies somewhere between the vastness that is the cosmos and the little corner of the universe known as “The Twilight Zone,” eat four pounds of chocolate. It will increase you’re serotonin and dopamine levels simulating the feeling of love. A cheap “love like” high that may get you through the rough spots.
“Love the one you’re with… you gotta love the one you’re with.” That’s from some song from the 70’s I can’t remember the title to. Maybe it’s “Love the One You’re With.” HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYBODY!!! CDJ
